"Josh."

"No."

"You have to speak to him."

"No!"

"Why not?"

"I told you, Donna. Men do not speak of such things"

"Oh don't be so ridiculous."

"I can't, Donna, I just can't."

"You want me to go speak to him then?"

"NO!"

"Why?"

"God, Donna, he saw you and me having sex in a cupboard."

"Yeah and Zoey saw us as well and she's okay with it."

"You've spoken to her?"

"What is with your voice getting high like that? It creeps me out you know."

"Answer the question!"

"Yes I spoke to Zoey."

"Why?"

"Because she saw us having sex in a cupboard."

"What did she say?"

"We compared sizes."

"Donna!"

"And techniques."

"DONNA!"

"Women do these things, Josh. We share. Get used to it."

"DONNATELLA MOSS."

"Full name time. Oooh, I'm so scared."

"You tell everyone about us?"

"Yes."

"CJ?"

"Yes.

"Margaret?"

"Yes."

"Bonnie, Ginger, Carol?"

"Yes, yes and yes."

"Mrs Bartlet?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because women share. You men don't share?"

"Not this."

"So you didn't call up Sam and say 'Dude, I just scored with Donna!' after we had sex for the first time?"

"Um."

"Josh!"

"Okay let me be absolutely clear here, I did not say score."

"That's a comfort. What did you say?"

"Uh... I only said Donna and I..."

"What?"

"I'm just going to remove this stapler from your reach."

"Josh... what did you say?"

"Okay I only said that err, you and I had just... um... had sex on my desk."

"And he said?"

"Well..."

"Josh!"

"Okay but you can't blame me for this."

"You know I'm going to though."

"Yeah I do."

"So?"

"He said 'Dude, score!'"

"Well. That's it then."

"What?"

"No more sex for you. Ever."

"Yeah right."

"I mean it... and hey, you know what?"

"What?"

"I also talk to your mom about us."

"My mom?!"

"Who do you think told me about that ticklish spot on your collarbone?"

"Oh. My. God."

"I give her a blow by blow account of each and every time we have sex. And I do mean blow by BLOW."

"Oh, Donna. No. No no no no. No!"

"She told me how you hated getting spanked when you were naughty and I told her how you seem to love it now."

"Oh God."

"She told me how little your penis was when you were a baby and I told her how it's not such a teeny weenie now. Especially when I wear those red panties."

"Oh noooooo."

"Oh yes."

"My mom? I just... I can't... oh God, Donna, stop laughing!"

"No."

"My MOM?!"

"Relax, Josh, I don't talk to your Mom about how amazing you are in bed and how big your cock is and how I love it when you lick my clit while your fingers wiggle around inside."

"You don't?"

"There are some things a mother should never know about her baby boy."

"Would you please stop mocking me?"

"It's too much fun."

"I hate you."

"No you really don't, Josh."

"No... I really don't."

"You really love me right?"

"Really do."

"And you'd do anything for me."

"I would, yes."

"So go talk to Charlie."

"I walked into that one."

"Didn't even see it coming. That's what all the love making does to a man's intelligence."

"Shut up."

"Let me ask you something, Josh: would you rather have intelligence... or me?"

"You."

"Well guess what?"

"What?"

"You're not getting me until you go talk to Charlie."

"Let me ask you something, Donna: if I'm not supposed to talk to Charlie about scoring with you, why am I talking to him?"

"To let him know you're okay with him walking in on us."

"But I'm not okay with it!"

"Fake it then."

"Why?"

"Oh stop whining for God's sake."

"Donnnnnaa."

"Josh."

"Fine."

"You'll speak to him?"

"Yes."

"Now?"

"Yes."

"You're still sitting down."

"I'm planning what I'm going to say."

"Just say 'Hi Charlie, I wanted to let you know that you shouldn't feel uncomfortable about walking in on Donna and me at the fund raiser.'"

"Yes but I am uncomfortable!"

"Well don't be. It was an accident. Say that too. 'It was an accident and therefore no one should feel blame or embarrassment.'"

"That's it?"

"And ask him if he wants to go get a beer or something."

"While we're getting drunk we're going to discuss the virtues and talents of our women?"

"No, talk about sport."

"Any particular sport?"

"You're stalling now."

"Yes."

"Go."

"Fine."

"Josh, until you speak to him, you will not be getting into my pants."

"Yeah but after I speak to him my virility will be so emasculated I won't have the ability to get into your pants."

"Oh I think my red lace panties will change your mind."

"Ah, the red lace panties."

"Yes."

"Um... are you wearing them now?"

"Yes."

"Be right back."

~~

"Charlie."

"Josh."

"Cool?"

"Cool."

"Gotta go."

~~

"Done."

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"You told him exactly what I told you to tell him?"

"I did indeed, Donna. Every single word. Verbatim."

"And he was okay?"

"He was cool."

"I'm very proud of you, Josh."

"Proud enough to show me those red panties?"

"Here?"

"I can shut the doors."

"You're not gonna call Sam afterwards and brag that you've just done it on the desk?"

"We can do it in the chair. And I won't tell Sam anything."

"Okay."

"Wait a second... are you gonna tell The Sisterhood about this?"

"If I say that I am, is it going to stop you?"

"Not so much, no."

"Shut the doors."