He remembers a lot of people. People he doesn't know. People who bring food and flowers and fill his house with cigarette smoke. People who want to hug him and pat his head and ask him, with hushed voices, how he is.

He remembers not liking the attention of all the people he doesn't know, so he takes a handful of cars and trucks from the toy box in the corner, and crawls under the dining room table, which is covered with a cloth. It hides him from everyone, and all he can see are black shoes walking around.

He remembers how quiet it is, with everyone talking in gentle, hushed voices and he tries to be quiet as well, playing with his red car and blue car and the car with black and white stripes. He has an oil tanker as well - yellow and green - and a big orange truck that he sometimes fills with dirt from the garden.

He remembers lying on his stomach, alone, under the table for a long, long time.

He remembers how hungry he is but he doesn't want to come out and get something to eat because the people he doesn't know will hug him again. So he stays hiding, playing with his cars and trucks, and the only noise he makes is when he occasionally smashes one vehicle into another and says 'boom', quietly, and under his breath.

He remembers, after a long time of playing alone, a hand waving beneath the edge of the tablecloth, and a pair of knees, and then another arm, and then his Uncle Max crawling under the table and giving him a paper plate with food on it.

He remembers Uncle Max's blue eyes. Blue like the sky in the park that morning, only it wasn't the park it was somewhere else. It makes him sad, and there's a pain in his stomach, so he tries not to think about it anymore.

He remembers eating the food while Uncle Max pushes his cars and trucks around and makes the same 'boom' noises, and he smiles at his uncle through a mouth stuffed with pasta before he remembers he's sad, although he can't remember why.

He remembers finishing all the food on the plate - even though Uncle Max takes some of his bread roll - and then being asked if he knows where Louie is, but he doesn't. He hasn't seen Louie since they came back home in the big black car.

He remembers putting the empty plate on the floor and sitting with his legs straight out in front of him and slowly driving the oil tanker over his knees because his pants are itching him, and then Uncle Max reaching forward and taking off his red tie which makes him happy because he hates his red tie.

He remembers his grandmother dressing him that morning in these clothes and telling him he had to wear them all day and to be a good boy for his mother and, even though his clothes are tight and scratchy, he's trying not to be mad because he wants to be a good boy for his mother.

He remembers Uncle Max asking if he wants to go to the body shop for awhile because there are too many people in the house; if maybe he would like to be a big help and do some work on a real life car that was in a real life crash.

He remembers nodding, and then stuffing as many toy cars and trucks into his pockets as can fit because he doesn't want anyone - especially Louie - to take them, and crawling out from under the table after his uncle.

He remembers Uncle Max picking him up and carrying him through the sad people dressed in black, and saying something to someone about the cars, and that they've both eaten and they'll both be back when it's over.

He remembers looking over Uncle Max's big, broad shoulder as he's carried out of his house.

He remembers seeing his mother, dressed in black as well, even though she has lots of clothes in lots of colors that he remembers her wearing.

He remembers the tears in her eyes.

Most of all he remembers how much he wants to be wearing his favorite blue and white striped shirt. The one like his Daddy wears on game days.

And he remembers wondering when his Daddy will be home so they can play baseball again.