I'm wrapped up nice and cozy in bed, having a fantastic dream involving skiing with Cary Grant when I'm rudely awakened by my cell phone at one thirty in the morning. Urgent. Unrelenting. Blearily, I check the caller display although I already know it's Josh. No one else would phone me at such an inconsiderate hour.

"What?"

"I'm outside. Open the security door."

"It's the middle of the night!"

"Yeah, let me in."

I rub a hand over my face in an attempt to wake up. "Have you been drinking?"

"No, but I'm cold," Josh whines. "Come on, Donna, open up."

"What do you want?"

"Open the goddamn door!"

"Whatever." I throw the cell down, pull on a robe, poke my feet into a pair of slippers and shuffle into the hall to release the electronic security lock for the main entrance before cracking open my own front door for whenever he stumbles up the stairs and into my apartment.

Despite his denial, I assume he's drunk, and to avoid a night of random babbling followed by a morning whimpering like a baby on the bathroom floor, I decide to make him coffee. Five minutes to brew, five to drink, ten to wait for a cab to arrive, and I'll be back in bed and dead asleep by two. Perfect.

I'm dumping coffee beans into the grinder when I hear him knocking on my apartment door.

"Donna?"

"Door's open, Josh, come in," I call back, flicking on the machine.

The front door slams shut and he wanders into the kitchen. "You shouldn't leave your door open, Donna, anyone could walk in," he scolds. "What if I'd been a burglar... or a murderer?"

I turn to laugh at him. "Josh, you couldn't hurt a fly."

"I could," he insists, dropping his backpack on the floor. "And I could have just crept in here, grabbed your neck and strangled you."

"You're insane!" I snort. "And are you sure you're not drunk? You look a little pale."

"I'm fine," he dismisses me with a wave.

"Speaking of necks..." I squint at him in concern. "Did you cut yourself shaving?"

"What?"

"You're bleeding, Josh!"

He scrapes a hand over his neck and inspects the smear of blood on his palm. "Huh."

"Oh God, sit down already." I push him into a chair before moistening a dishcloth under the kitchen faucet.

"Thanks."

"What did you do to yourself?"

He shrugs, his shoulder knocking against my arm as I press the damp cloth to his throat. "I don't remember. Is it bad?"

"Well," I inspect the wound carefully then shake my head. "I don't think it's bleeding anymore."

"Good." He pauses and then adds, "I feel dizzy though."

"Are you sure you haven't been drinking, Josh? You look like you have a hangover."

"I'm sure." He nods feebly. "I just feel... weird."

"I think you need to go home and sleep," I say firmly.

"No, there's a reason I came here..."

I give his skin one final wipe and throw the cloth into the sink. "What reason could you have at half past one in the morning?"

Josh tips his head on the side and smiles softly. "I think I... came to kill you."

I start laughing. "What?"

"I came to kill you, Donna. I have this urge..." He trails off and squeezes his eyes shut; his hands curl into fists and I raise my eyebrows in concern.

"Okay you're freaking me out a little, Josh."

He shakes his head quickly and looks at me, the bewildered frown replaced by a teasing grin, "I mean with your door open in the middle of the night, no lights on-"

Relief washes over me and I snort in amusement. "Not this again? Josh, my door was open because I was expecting you and this light," I point upwards, "is on."

"Still, as I said, I could have just tiptoed in here and snapped you like a twig."

"Oh please," I scoff. "Remember those self defense lessons I took with Margaret?"

"The ones you insisted on testing on me?"

"Yes! How long did it take before I had you down on the floor crying for your mama?"

Josh shrugs. "Ah... well I wasn't expecting you to trip me up and twist my arm backwards."

"And actually sit on your back," I add with a grin.

"Don't remind me."

"So okay, if you were expecting it - like any common burglar and/or murderer expects it - you'd have been able to take me?"

"Absolutely."

"Prove it," I challenge.

He raises his eyebrows. "Now?"

"No, Josh, not now!" I sneer. "It's the middle of the night. You can prove your psycho attack skills some other time but tonight you need to go home and sleep."

Josh looks at me sadly. "But..." He can bring the pathetic puppy look so well. Damn.

"Fine, I'll make up the sofa."

As I turn to leave the kitchen, he grabs my hand and squeezes it. "Donna?" His skin is icy cold and chills run down my spine as I look at him.

"Josh, are you sure you're okay?"

"I remember... Something bit me."

"What? Where?"

"I was leaving work this evening," Josh replies slowly. "I was unlocking the door of my car and I felt pain in my neck." His hand flutters to his throat. "And I think maybe I passed out or something."

The uncertainty on his face worries me. "You passed out?"

"I don't know, Donna. I felt this sharp pain and everything went kinda black and then next thing I knew I was lying on the ground. I got in my car and came straight here."

I bend down and run my fingertips over the wound in his neck, "It doesn't look that bad; must be an insect bite or something. How long do you think you were unconscious?"

"What time did you leave tonight?"

"About nine," I stroke my thumb over the punctures; his skin is cold here as well. "Does this hurt?"

"No," he murmurs. "It feels nice actually."

"What time did you leave work?"

"I guess about ten. So um... I was out of it for, what... three hours maybe?"

"Three hours, Josh?" I splutter incredulously. "Okay, you're going to the ER."

"No!" He grabs my other hand and pulls me onto his lap. "I'm okay, Donna, honestly." He looks scared out of his mind which worries me even more.

"You were unconscious for three hours, Josh, because of an insect bite," I bend down and press my lips against his forehead, testing his temperature. Like the rest of his skin, it's cold. "You're pale and clammy and your skin is really cold. That's not normal."

"Tomorrow?" Josh pleads. "Let me get some sleep and if you think I still look like death in the morning then you can drag me to the ER."

I sigh with resignation and stand up. "Go lie on the sofa and you better believe I'm dragging you to the ER tomorrow."

"I always believe you when you threaten me, Donna. I need a pillow, please."

"If you go lie down, I'll get you one," I instruct as he shuffles wearily into the living room. I switch off the kitchen light, jog down the hall, and quickly grab the comforter and a pillow from my bed. My sofa isn't very long and he's curled on his side, legs tucked up, when I return.

"I'm lying down."

"Good boy, Josh, I can see that." I kneel on the floor and spread the comforter over his body. "Lift your head."

"You're bossy tonight," he complains as I tuck the pillow securely under his neck. "In the caring and protective way though. I like it."

"Be quiet." I smooth his hair back from his face. "Are you still cold?"

"No, not really," Josh frowns. "I don't feel hot or cold... it's weird."

I rub my hand over his forehead again, "You feel cold to me. How can you be cold on the outside but not on the inside?"

"Mmm, don't know. I feel a lot of things inside that I don't show on the outside." His hand slides out from under the comforter and rests on my arm. "Thank you."

"For what?"

His fingers wander up my arm and over my shoulder, "For being you. For looking after me."

I smile softly, "It's my job."

"You're beautiful you know," Josh sighs. "With the moonlight and everything." His hand trails across the side of my neck and I, even though I don't know why, I feel myself shiver involuntarily.

"What are you doing, Josh?" I whisper.

His thumb settles in the hollow of my throat. "Your skin is so... soft."

I pull back sharply. "Okay, now you're definitely going to the ER tomorrow. You must have banged your head pretty badly."

"Just because I paid you a compliment?"

"Yes and it's creeping me out. I'm going to bed now."

Josh smiles again. "I have your blanket and pillow. Are you sure you won't get cold?"

"I'll be fine." I shrug off his concern and stand up. "I'll take the afghan. No more talking, Josh. I'll see you in the morning."

"Night, Donna," he murmurs, closing his eyes.

"Night." I stare at him for a few seconds, confused and more than a little worried. His face is ghostly white and his breathing is so shallow that, even with the moonlight, I'm unable to see the rise and fall of the comforter.

"Stop hovering," he grumbles, eyes still closed. "And stop worrying. I'm fine."

"Okay." I lean over him, grab the afghan from the back of the sofa and tiptoe to my bedroom. I'm skeptical that an insect bite has caused him to look so pale and sickly; he's probably coming down with the flu. In any case, he's still going to the ER tomorrow. No arguments. I can't help worrying about him and not just because it's my job.

I shuck my robe and slippers and crawl under the thin afghan . It's not until I'm almost asleep that I realize I've left the coffee machine on.

With a small whimper of exhaustion, I stumble back into the kitchen but as I'm reaching to flip the switch off there's a movement behind me, quick and unexpected. One hand clamps over my mouth, another wraps around my waist. I'm shocked for half a second, but my reflexes kick into gear and I shove my elbow backwards.

It catches Josh - and I know it's Josh because of the girly scream that echoes through the kitchen - mid-stomach and the hand around my waist loosens enough to give me room to spin in his arms; I hook my ankle through his, flick it sideways and he loses balance, tumbling face down onto the kitchen floor with a loud groan. I straddle his hips, twist his arm into the small of his back, and jam my knee on top.

"Donna," Josh bleats pitifully. "Get off me." His free hand is flailing near my leg and, when it makes contact, begins smacking my thigh.

"What the HELL are you doing grabbing me in the dark?" I scream.

"I was trying to kill you," he explains breathlessly.

"Are you out of your MIND?"

"YES!" he roars. "Oh God, Donna, you weigh like two hundred pounds; get OFF me!"

"Two hundred pounds?" I yell again. "You idiot, you think NOW I'm gonna stop squashing you?" I push my knee deeper into his spine. "I don't care how sick you are, don't you dare call me fat ever, ever again."

"Sorry," he yelps. "Sorry, sorry. I'm sorry. Please let me up, you're killing me."

"Do you think I'm fat?" I demand.

"No. No, I do not. You're the skinniest woman I've ever seen."

"Oh, so you're calling me anorexic?"

"No!" he babbles. "You're perfect. The perfect size."

I press my knee down a little firmer. "Perfect for what exactly?"

"Uh..." he trails off with another croak of agony. "Please get off me, Donna. I can't breathe."

"That's the point."

"If you don't get off me this very second..." he groans again.

"You'll do what?"

"Then I'll have to hurt you!" he threatens; his free hand has stopped slapping my thigh and is now gripping my right arm. He digs his fingernails in and I shriek in pain, wrenching my arm from his grasp.

"Ow! God, what the hell?" I peer through in the dark. "I'm bleeding!"

Josh immediately stops squirming. "What?"

"You idiot, Josh, you scratched me so hard I'm bleeding!" I release my grip on his other arm and inspect my skin.

"Blood?" His voice is oddly monotonic.

"Yeah, don't worry. I won't make you look; I know how you get at the sight of blood." I press my finger on the scratch to stop the bleeding. "I'll be okay once I get a band aid."

"No!" Suddenly, with a deep animalistic growl, Josh flips his body around with such force that I'm thrown to the floor. His legs twist through mine, his hands pin my wrists down and, before I realize it, I find myself flat on my back with him straddling my hips. "Donna."

I struggle against the weight of his body. "Hey, get off me!"

"No, I don't think so." His mouth curves into a slow smile. "You're bleeding?"

"Yes! Let me up so I can get a band aid."

Josh's voice is soft and wheedling as he asks, "Where did I hurt you?"

"My arm, you jackass," I screech and, as he bends over me,, I'm suddenly very aware that a certain part of his body is pressed very firmly against a certain part of mine. "Josh, what the hell are you doing now?"

Still holding my wrists above my head with one hand, he uses the other to examine the scrape on my arm. "Donna..."

"What?"

"There something..." he murmurs, shaking his head slowly. "I can..."

"WHAT?" I hiss, irritated at his refusal to release me.

"I can smell you, Donna," Josh growls softly. "I can smell your blood." He looks down at me; the kitchen, with its lack of windows, has no moonlight and even though I've already become accustomed to the dark, he looks... odd.

"Get. Off. Me. NOW," I demand, struggling to sit up. "I'm not kidding, Josh."

"Nooooo," he exhales softly. "No, Donna."

His teeth are gleaming, his eyes have an odd glitter to them and, as he strokes a finger through the bloody scratch on my arm, his forehead creases, deep furrows patterning the skin.

All of a sudden I'm scared out of my mind.

"Josh, get off me." I try to keep the fear from my voice as I plead with him. "Please let me up."

He shakes his head. "I can smell you, Donna... you don't think that's weird?"

"I don't think anything, Josh." I feel tears pricking behind my eyes and I try to wriggle out from under him. "Please, you're scaring me. Let me go."

"I want..." He growls again, deep and rumbling, and the sound vibrates through his body to mine.

"Please," I whisper again, "don't hurt me."

The creases in his forehead immediately smooth out and, as he loosens his grip on my wrists, I take my chance. I slide one arm free, haul back, and smash my fist straight into his jaw.

He yelps in pain and rolls off me; when my legs are free, I scramble up, switch the light on, and grab the nearest heavy object.

"What the fucking, fucking, FUCK do you think you're doing?" I scream.

Josh staggers to his feet, one hand clamped against his jaw. "You hit me!"

"Damn right I hit you," I yell again. "You were scaring me!"

"I didn't..." he rubs at his jaw, then suddenly grins. "That's some right hook you have. And you really think you can take me on with a toaster that's still plugged into the wall?"

I frown and drop the toaster back onto the counter. "You scared the hell out of me, Josh. What were you playing at?"

"I don't..." he shakes his head. "I-"

"Was it a game?" I spit. "Because you went way too far; talking about blood and... being able to smell blood. And your forehead... what the hell is going on?"

"I don't know," he mutters. "What's wrong with my forehead?"

"There's nothing wrong with it now, but before it was... wrinkled. When you were talking about blood it went, um... oh my God."

"What?"

I can heart my heart roaring in my chest. "Oh my God, no."

He frowns again, "What, Donna?"

"Josh, stay right there okay." I start edging around the room, feeling my way along the kitchen counters. "Don't move."

"What are you doing?"

"I just need to get..." I scrabble blindly in the drawer, keeping my eyes firmly on Josh, until my fingers close around a paper sleeve of chopsticks. I whip them out, break them in half, and hold them at right angles in front of me.

Josh tips his head to the side. "Uh... what are you doing?"

"Stay there, Josh," I demand.

He walks towards me, a grin spreading across his face. "Why are you using chopsticks to make a cross?"

"Don't come any closer! I mean it."

"What are you planning on doing to me with chopsticks, Donna?" he laughs. "You didn't even break them properly."

I glare at him. "No one can break these properly but that's not the point. I swear to God, Josh, you take one more step...."

"You're going to attack me with two pieces of splintered wood from Mr. Wong's Rice Palace?"

I wave the chopsticks at him. "This doesn't bother you?"

"Nope." Josh shakes his head. "Should it?"

"I don't know." I bite my lip, confused. "I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with you."

"And you think chopsticks will do that?" His voice is soft and almost... hypnotic; he stands in front of me and his hands close around mine, fingers pulling the chopsticks away.

"I could um... stab you with one," I mutter feebly. "If you don't let go of me."

"Why would you want to stab me?" he purrs, running a thumb over the scratch on my arm. "And why do you think a chopstick would kill me?"

I blink with uncertainty. "Well, because..." Oh God, I'm going to sound so stupid saying this.

His hand rubs more firmly over the scratch on my arm, his forehead creases, and he lifts his blood-smeared fingers to his mouth.

I start screaming the loudest I've possibly ever screamed in my life, lift my knee, and drive it straight between his legs.

"Unnghh," he grunts, dropping to the floor. This time I take no chances - I grab one of the mugs still left out and slam it down on the top of his head.

It shatters over his skull and, as I run out of the kitchen trying not to scream again, I hear him groaning "Donnnnnnnna," behind me.

~~

Oh God, she hit me again. And not in the face! I lie curled into a ball on the floor trying hard not to throw up. I have never been in so much pain in my entire life. Well apart from the whole nearly dying thing a few years ago but this is a whole new ball game. Literally.

Owwww.

I poke gingerly at my crotch and, satisfied everything is still where it belongs and nothing important has been damaged, grab onto the table leg, hoist myself up, and stumble after Donna to figure just what the hell is going on.

"Donna?" Her apartment is silent and dark but I can see quite clearly. I can also hear extremely well. In fact, I can hear her breathing even though I know she's not in the same room as me. Something else to add to the growing list of totally weird and scarily odd things that have been happening to me tonight.

I shuffle through the living room, still slightly tender in the nether regions, following the sounds of her gentle wheezing, and trying to make some sense of what just happened.

She clearly had every right to beat me up. I mean, not really - she had no right to hit me where she did - but I do understand why she did it. I attacked her in the dark and then... I think tried to taste her.

I tried to bite her. On the neck. I could smell the blood on her arm and suddenly I wanted to taste it. I wanted to... drink it. Which is not... good.

I rub a hand over my face and fall heavily onto the sofa. What the hell is wrong with me? Thinking about her blood was getting me all... excited. I was holding her arm and staring at the scratch and couldn't control the desperate need I had to taste it.

Right. I am calm. If only because I am freaked out beyond all possible logic and reasoning. Donna said she knew what was wrong with me? Fine, I'll ask her. And not bite her. No biting, no sucking, no licking of any bodily fluids no matter how much I really really want to.

I steel myself, and push off the sofa. I can still hear her breathing and I've kind of gotten used to it now. It's oddly comforting as I follow the sound to her bedroom. What's also odd is the fact I can see as though it's daytime. Or at the very least, see as though there's a light on. Which I know there isn't. Except in the kitchen. Which is behind me. Okay, I really need to stop babbling.

"Donna?" I call softly. I can't see her in the bedroom but I know she's here. I stand very still and focus on her breathing which has suddenly become faster. She's in the closet. I step through the doorway and my ears pick up a rhythmic thumping.

Her heart. Oh my God, I can hear her heart beating. How I know it's a heartbeat, and that it's actually hers, I have no idea. But I just... know.

"Donna?" I call again, and the thumping speeds up along with the breathing. Interesting. In a completely freaked out way of course. I need her to help me figure out what the hell is going on. But firstly, I think I have to convince her I'm not going to harm her because she's afraid of me.

That realization hits me hard, and hurts more than when she physically injured me. I never thought Donna would be afraid of me. I never though I'd give her cause to be afraid of me. So even though I have no fucking clue what's going on here, the first thing to do is make sure she's okay.

I scratch my fingers lightly on the closet door and the breathing suddenly stops; her heartbeat, on the other hand, starts pounding like a jackhammer.

"Donna?"

"Go away," she whispers.

"No," I whisper back. "Are you okay?"

"No," she replies. "Please, Josh; I really want you to leave."

"I really can't leave, Donna. I need to make sure you're okay and then I need you to help me figure out what the hell is going on. Would you please come out of the closet?"

"If you move away from me, I will," she demands, her voice suddenly determined. "I refuse to come out until you're at least fifty feet away."

I look over to the bedroom door, measuring in my head. "If I was fifty feet away from you, I'd be outside your apartment."

"That's the idea," she hisses. "Get out before I call the police."

Her cell phone is lying on her bedside table so I ask, trying to keep the amusement out of my voice because laughing at her would not be a good thing, "When did you install a phone in your closet?"

Donna pauses and I can hear her breathing start to slow down before she replies with an annoyed: "Shut up."

"How about I stand outside your bedroom door?" I bargain. "That way if I make a move towards you, you can jump right back into that tiny claustrophobic space and stay there amongst your frilly dresses and smelly shoes."

I hear a sharp, indignant intake of air. "I only have a few dresses and they are most definitely not frilly. And my shoes do not smell!" she exclaims crossly. "Go stand by the door so I can come out and yell at you like a normal person."

I obey and, when I'm standing just outside her bedroom, I call, "You can abuse me now."

There's silence from the closet; silence mixed, of course, with her breathing and her heartbeat, both of which have slowed considerably. I take that as a good sign. The knob on the closet door slowly turns and her head pops around the side.

"Stay there," she says loudly. "I mean it."

I hold my hands up in compliance and give her a big smile. "Hey."

"Don't you 'hey' me, Joshua Lyman." Donna emerges fully, arms hanging loosely by her sides, knees slightly bent, body in complete defense mode. She eyes me warily. "What's going on here?"

"That's what I want to know," I reply. "But first, I want to know if you're okay?"

She presses her lips together and stares at me for a few seconds then says quietly, "Not really, no."

I rest the side of my head against the doorframe and sigh. "I'm sorry. I mean really, really sorry. I just... I have no idea what happened. I don't know what's going on."

"You attacked me in the dark and tried to bite me, Josh. Then you tried to taste the blood on my arm!"

"Hang on, you were the one sitting on me!" I exclaim. "And squashing me, if I remember correctly."

"I might have squashed you, but you started talking about smelling my blood and then your face did this... funny thing. And then I thought you were going to..." She pauses and folds her arms, pressing the one with the scratch on it firmly against her body. "You scared me, Josh. And the thing is... you didn't even know it. I didn't know what you were going to do to me."

I sigh, and shake my head, "I don't know what happened, Donna, and that's the God's honest truth."

She's still staring at me, eyebrows knitted. "Josh, I just... don't know."

"Neither do I!"

"What happened in the kitchen? Why can't you explain that to me? Tell my why you felt the need to sneak up behind me and pretend you were..." she trails off and takes a deep breath. "Josh what I saw, what your face did? That deep growl... I've never been so scared in all my life."

I can hear sadness mixed with fear in her voice and... it hurts. I push off the door frame and take a step towards her but she stiffens and her heartbeat and breathing quicken once more. "Donna..."

"Don't come near me."

I stop in my tracks. "I'm sorry, I won't. I just want to sit down. I'm so tired and so very confused," I say softly. "Please Donna, you know me. You know I would never hurt you. I didn't want to hurt you. I just..." I close my eyes, trying to remember exactly what I had been thinking.

"Yes?"

"I don't KNOW! I don't know what I was thinking, it was automatic. All I know was I didn't want to hurt you, I just wanted to taste you."

"Do you have any idea how creepy that is?" she demands. "And what about when you attacked me? Was that because you wanted to taste me?"

"No," I say quickly. "I heard you moving about in the kitchen and I wanted..." I stop speaking and drop my head. I remember why I went to her but I can't say it. I can't tell her that I wanted to touch her. Feel her soft warm skin... wrap my arms around her waist and make her part of my soul, make her belong to me.

I've never felt that way about anyone and I didn't even know I felt that way about her until only a few minutes ago. Judging by the fact that she still looks scared out of her mind, telling her that might not make the situation better.

"Go on," she prompts. "If you think it'll sound ridiculous, trust me, it won't even hold a candle to the things I'm thinking now."

"And those are?"

Donna shakes her head. "Nope, you tell me first. Why did you attack me?"

Oh, what the hell. Honestly, I don't think I can freak her out anymore than I already have. "Because I wanted to make you mine."

She raises her eyebrows in confusion, "What exactly does that mean?"

"I have no idea," I groan. "All I remember is that I heard you moving about and I had a sudden overwhelming urge to make you mine. I can't explain it any clearer than that."

"Huh." Donna takes a few steps away from the closet door, flicks on the bedside lamp, and sits on the edge of her bed. "Make me yours? How did you plan on doing that?"

"Again, I have no idea," I mutter. "Can I sit down please? I still feel slightly sick." I'm also feeling a little guilty at trying to gain her pity by giving her my best hurt puppy look. When I add in some sad blinking and a little frown, she sighs and pats the sheets.

"Fine, sit down, Josh."

"You're not afraid of me now?" I ask hopefully as I move towards her.

Donna looks up at me and shakes her head. "You're giving me those big brown, cow eyes. There's no way you can be a threat when you look so ridiculous." I bite back a retort and perch next to her at the foot of the bed as she continues, "So we have to figure this out."

"I think that would be a really good idea," I nod. "Because my head is about to explode in confusion. And you seemed to kind of know what was going on in the kitchen because you tried to stab me with a chopstick. That's not something they teach you in self defense class, right?"

She clenches her hands together, knuckles turning white from the pressure. I hold back the urge to wrap my arm around her shoulder and give her a hug. Her face is still ashen from the shock of me doing... whatever it was I was going to do.

"Josh..." She looks over at me and rubs a hand over her face. "I don't think you were bitten by an insect."

"Okay."

"I think maybe you were bitten by something else. Oh God, I'm really going to sound deranged when I say it. I mean, it sounds deranged in my head! If I suggest it as a possibility-"

"Babbling, Donna," I interrupt.

"Sorry." She exhales loudly and then asks, "Do you believe in things, Josh?"

"Liiike?" I drag the word out and she frowns at me.

"Things! Unexplainable things. Or rather, things that can be explained but tend to be unbelievable."

"Again, like?"

Donna closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and then says in a rush, "I think you're a vampire, Josh."

Maybe it isn't the best idea to start snorting with laughter, but I can't help it. I lean forward, clutching my stomach, and laugh until I can't breathe. When the laughter finally subsides, I wipe my eyes and look at her stony face. "You're not laughing?"

"No. I'm not."

"But that was a good one!"

"It wasn't a joke, Josh!" she hisses. "I know it sounds stupid. You don't think I think it's stupid? Vampires? Come on! This isn't mid-fifteenth century Transylvania. This is DC. DC doesn't have vampires!"

I hold back another giggle, bare my teeth, and croon, "I vant to suck joor blooo- owww! Why'd you do that?" I give her the evil eye and rub the back of my head where she'd felt the need to slap me.

"I don't think this is a joke, Josh, and much as it sounds like bad TV, it's all I can think of."

I sigh and give in. "Okay, explain why you think I'm a... a vampire. A creature of the night who, by all current evidence, does not exist."

"Have you ever met a vampire?" she asks quietly.

"Apart from the blood suckers of Congress, no."

"How do you know they don't exist then? How do you know what you can't see isn't there waiting for you in the dark?"

I roll my eyes. "Okay, now you're trying to spook me out."

"I'm not. As much as it doesn't make sense, it does make sense. Even though it doesn't make sense." She drops her face into her hands and groans. "That makes sense in my head. If that makes sense. Oh God."

"If I tell you that you're babbling again, will you hit me?"

"No," she sighs and looks up at me again. "I'm just as confused as you are, Josh. Half of me says you're a vampire, half of me says vampires don't exist, half of me thinks maybe you're not a vampire - maybe you're some sort of demon thing, and the other half of me really just wants to go back to sleep."

"Mathematically that makes two of you."

"Idiot," she mutters, and flops backwards to lie on the bed. "You know what I mean."

"I really do not know what you mean. You're going to need to use little words for those of us in the studio audience who don't speak crazy lunatic."

Idly, her hand flicks out and bangs against my thigh. "I'm tired."

"Me too," I sigh, and lie back next to her. "So you think I'm a vampire?"

She rolls onto her side to stare at me. "I don't know what to think, Josh. I don't know anything about vampires - apart from the regular blood sucking, coffin sleeping, Prince of Darkness type of thing that everyone knows about."

"So I'm a prince now?" I can't resist teasing her a little, and she smiles.

"I only know what I've seen on TV and read in books but that doesn't explain half of what's happened tonight. I mean, for one thing, you're breathing!"

"Vampires don't breathe?"

"I don't think so. I mean they're dead and you're not dead..." She pauses and frowns, "are you?"

"I don't feel dead."

"Do you know what being dead feels like?" Donna asks softly. "Maybe you are dead, and you're a ghost. You still look really pale." She slides her hand up over my cheek and rests it on my forehead, "And you're still really cold."

"I told you before, I don't feel cold. I feel weird. Because I was bitten by an insect," I say firmly and then reach up and pull her hand away from my head. "Feel this, Donna. Would my heart beat if I was dead?"

Donna's eyes cloud over with tears when I press her palm against my chest. "You're not dead," she sighs, the relief apparent in her voice.

"Guess you're stuck with me a little longer then," I joke.

"Don't say that. Stuff like that isn't funny."

"I know, I'm sorry." I link my fingers through hers and squeeze tightly. "So if I'm not dead I can't be a vampire."

"It's sort of a prerequisite I think. Which brings us back to the beginning where we know nothing and have no leads."

"What about the being able to smell your blood," I offer. "And um, being able to see in the dark, and hear you breathing from three rooms away. Oh, and also being able to hear your heart beating."

"What?" she splutters. "You can hear my heart?"

I nod. "Yeah, it's how I knew you were in here. I could hear you breathing when I was in the kitchen and then when I got closer, I sensed your heartbeat. It was... odd."

"It's a little more than odd," she mutters, and pulls her hand out of mine. "It's throwing my whole non-vampire mindset out of whack."

"So vampires can hear hearts beating?"

"I know they have an acute sense of hearing. What with being related to bats. I think. Maybe they're not related to bats. Then again Dracula could always turn into a bat. Or a puff of smoke."

"You know a little too much about vampires I think." I reach over and take her hand again; it's warm and soft and I use my thumb to stroke her wrist. In the light from her bedside lamp I can see the blue green veins just under the surface on her skin. Actually... I bring her wrist closer to my face. Wow.

"What are you doing?" Donna asks, her voice tinged with nervousness.

"I'm not trying to scare you but I can see your blood," I say softly, fascinated by the movement. "I can actually see it flowing under your skin. I really don't think that's normal, do you?"

"It's really very not normal at all. But you're not scaring me."

"I'm not?" I look over at her and raise my eyebrows. "Does that mean you're not going to knee me in my unmentionables again?"

She winces. "Sorry. It was instinct."

"I might never be able to use them again," I whine. "What are all the women going to say when they find out?"

"I'm sure the female population will go into mourning once they learn Josh Lyman has been neutered."

It's my turn to wince. "Yow. Don't say that word."

"Sorry. Maybe we should get back to the issue at hand. Or at wrist, as it were. Do you want to let me go now?"

"No. I like touching you." Donna presses her lips together and stares at me, so I quickly add. "I'm not going to hurt you, I swear."

Regardless of my promise, she pulls her arm away and crawls up the bed to rifle through the drawer of her bedside table. "We need to make a list."

"How did I know that was coming?" I groan.

"Shut up." She pulls out a notebook and a pen, leans against the headboard, and stares at me again.

"Go on then," I agree with a sigh. "Make your list."

Donna taps the top of the pen thoughtfully against her cheek, and then starts to write. "Number one: Blood. You can smell it and you can see it pumping."

"I don't think I was expecting pumping to be the first issue somehow."

Donna ignores me and continues, "Two: You can see in the dark. Three: You can hear my breathing and heartbeat. Four: You're cold and clammy. Five: Your face did this funny thing when we were in the kitchen. Six: You were bitten by something, passed out, and wound up here desperate to kill me."

"That was a joke," I interject feebly. But the thing is... I think maybe it wasn't. I didn't want to kill her. I just wanted to make her mine and, for some reason, killing her seemed to be the instinctual thing to do. Maybe I shouldn't put it quite like that though. "Besides you're getting everything out of order. Number one should be I was bitten by something."

"It doesn't matter about the order." Donna shrugged. "And joke or not, it's part of the puzzle. So it's going on my list."

"Go for it." I scoot up the bed, sitting beside her to look over her shoulder.

"God, you're still so cold," she mutters absentmindedly. "Go get the comforter, Josh."

"'Kay," I slip off the bed and into the living room, collect both the pillow and the comforter, and return to Donna's bedroom. She's tucked her legs up Indian style and I notice, for the first time, that she's wearing one of my very old and very faded shirts teamed with a pair of shorts.

"Are you cold?" I ask as I settle the comforter over both of us.

"A little," she smiles. "Thanks."

"No problem." I nestle up against her right side under the comforter and read what she's scribbled in her notebook. "Okay I see the word vampire there."

"It's just a possibility," she admits. "I need to list everything. Pros and cons, yeses and nos. See the whole picture before I make a decision."

"And what's the picture looking like now?" I ask, resting my head on her shoulder. She's nice and warm so I snuggle closer.

"It's a mess. Big messy mess."

"A big messy mess huh? Well as long as you have some idea of what's going on."

"Don't be mean," she rebukes. "I don't have any other word for it. The only word that makes sense is vampire. And even then it doesn't make sense."

"I'm not a vampire!" I insist loudly. "I'm not dead. That's one of the main criteria - you said it yourself!"

"I don't think I said it was definitely part of the criteria. I mean, vampires are actually called the undead. Which is a little misleading. They're dead but still alive. Sort of."

"And they drink blood," I add, slipping my right hand into her left one. When she looks at me I offer a half smile and the explanation: "My hands are still cold."

"I thought you said you felt fine."

"Inside I do, outside I'm obviously cold."

"Okay," she shrugs and adds another scribble to the notebook.

"What did you just write?"

"Weird body temperature."

"My temperature is just fine, Donna. It's just, um... weird?"

"Do you think you're helping me here?" she snipes. "Maybe you're not a vampire but something is going on so I think we need to do experiments."

"With this involve probing of any kind?" I wrinkle my nose in distaste.

"I think you've been watching to much TV," she laughs. "No probing I promise. Well, no painful probing anyway."

I rest my head on her shoulder and murmur, "What kind of non-painful probing do you want to do?"

"Get off me," she laughs, giving me a kick in the shin with her foot. I kick her back and tighten my grip on her hand, nestling my head closer into her neck.

"I like this spot," I explain, and blow a tiny puff of air onto her skin. "All the tiny hairs on your neck stand up when I do this."

"Are you having fun there?" she asks haughtily. "You want to blow on my neck all night or do you want to solve the reason why you're blowing on my neck?"

"I want to blow on your neck," I say quickly. "And then after blowing on it, I want to bite it so solving the reason for that would be a very good thing."

"I would think so."

"You're not afraid I'm just going to bare my teeth and sink them into your soft pale flesh?" I ask softly. "I mean, I'm right here. If I stick my tongue out, I could taste you."

Donna's pen falters over the notebook as she stiffens. "Josh, what are you doing?"

"Nothing."

"You're not scaring me with all this talk you know."

"It wasn't my intention to scare you. Now and before. But if you're not scared why have you stopped writing, and why are you giving me all these vibes?" I ask.

"You blowing air on my neck does not scare me," Donna mutters. "And you're not going to bite me because you're not a vampire. Regardless of that, it does bother me, so please stop it."

I direct another soft stream of air against her earlobe and she shivers. "Why does it bother you?"

"It just does, and do you really want to piss me off?"

"Nooooo." I stop breathing on her, and look down at the notebook. "So you mentioned something about experiments?"

"Yes."

"Will they hurt?"

"The first one isn't going to hurt you," Donna says thoughtfully. "Me maybe, but not you."

I sit up quickly and stare at her. "What do you mean hurt you? I said I wasn't going to hurt you, Donna!"

"No, I know that. Come on." She rolls off the bed and extends her arm towards me.

"Where are we going?" I ask nervously as she yanks me to my feet. "You're not throwing me out are you?"

"Would I do that?" she asks angelically. "We're just going to the kitchen for a second."

"Scene of the crime." I nod sagely but can't resist adding, "Going back for your chopsticks?"

"Okay I'm going to have to put hurting you back onto the list, Josh," she huffs as she pulls me down the hall towards the light from the kitchen. "Shut up about the chopsticks okay? It was instinct."

"Instinct because you thought I was a vampire," I laugh. I can't help it - even though I know it's probably not a good thing to do. The pinching of her fingers against mine confirms this.

"Sit down and shut up, Josh." Donna pushes me towards a chair and, as I sit down, she heads for the silverware drawer.

"No chopsticks?" I smirk but when she turns around, I see she's holding a knife. A very sharp, very big knife. I leap out of the chair in alarm, holding my hands up defensively. "Okay, what are you planning with that?"

"Experiment number one, Josh, but the knife is not for you so sit back down and relax."

I sit down again and eye her warily as she takes a seat opposite me. "Are we going to be cooking something?"

Donna smiles. "No. You may want to look away though."

"Why, what are you planning?" I'm getting a little worried now. She's just sitting there staring at me, holding a big knife in her hands.

"Look, you saw my list, Josh. I assume you were paying attention in between bouts of breathing on my neck to annoy me. I have to rule out vampire. This is the way to do it," she explains. "So what I'm going to do is cut myself and-"

"See if I try to attack you again." I finish her sentence. "Donna, no. You can't do that. I forbid it."

~~

I grin at him and raise my eyebrows. "You forbid it? Josh, have I ever listened to you when you've forbidden me to do something?"

Josh shakes his head and returns my smile. "You don't even do half the things I want you to do."

"So why are you even bothering to try and stop me here? It'll just be a little nick; I'm not going to hit an artery. At least, I hope I won't."

"Where exactly are you going to cut yourself?" he asks nervously.

"Hand, I guess." I wiggle my fingers at him. "I know you think this isn't a good idea at all but haven't you learned over the years that, when I've got an idea in my head, I won't ever let it go?"

"I had noticed that about you, yes." He smiles wider.

"You want to look away?"

"Um..." he shakes his head. "No, I better watch to make sure you don't hurt yourself."

"Okay, but listen now. I don't know what's going to happen, Josh. Last time there was blood you basically turned into a vampire. At least what I thought was a vampire - it was a little hard to tell in the dark."

"I'm not a vampire!" Josh screeches. "Donna, it's ridiculous to think otherwise. If you wanna cut yourself to prove something, then go ahead. But because I'm not a vampire, there's nothing to worry about."

I shrug and wave the knife at him. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be," he shrugs back. "Just... be careful okay?"

"Always." I press the tip of the knife against the skin on my left palm and quickly slash sideways.

Ohhh, it hurts. I drop the knife on the table and grit my teeth, squeaking in pain as a tiny river of blood wells up from the reddening skin. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

I resist curling my hand into a fist to suppress the ache, and hold it up to show Josh.

"Blood. What are you going to do?" I say softly.

His face tells me all I need to know. His forehead is knitted and bumpy, covered in raised curves. His eyes are bright red, pupils slitted like a cat's. And his teeth...

I'm not afraid. I'm really not afraid, and that's not just my brain trying to convince itself so I don't shriek like a banshee and plunge the knife straight into his heart. Even though it wouldn't work.

I'm not afraid because he's just not moving; he's staring at me from across the table, blinking slowly; watching, smiling. He growls softly and the sound slides through me, curling my toes in... something, I don't know what.

"Donna?" he asks quietly. "Vampire?"

I nod and offer a rueful smile of my own. " Yep. Vampire. How 'bout that?"

"Not sure what to say really." He shakes his head and drops it down onto the table top. The thunk of his wrinkled-more-than-usual forehead hitting the wood echoes around the kitchen.

I stare at the top of his head. I feel sorry for him. Vampire and losing his hair - that little thin spot is growing sparser by the day. So, being a vampire, isn't he dead? And his hair wouldn't grow anyway. But if he's dead, why is his heart beating? Now my head, in addition to my hand, is aching.

I slouch forward and rest my head on my arms, being careful not to get blood anywhere. The long, thin cut is still moist, and I stare at it sadly. There are a million things I could say or do but right now my head is full with the repetitively pounding thought that my boss and the man I'm in love with - even though I would never admit it aloud - is a walking, talking, living vampire.

Living being the puzzle here.

Josh grunts softly and lifts his head to stare at me. "So..."

"Can you smell this?" I ask quietly, sliding my hand across the table. "Do you want to taste it? Does it make you... I don't know, um... hot?"

"Hot?" His smile, mixed with the furrowed brow and the sharp teeth, is a slightly disturbing sight. "What do you mean by hot?"

"I don't know," I mutter. "I mean you know, in movies, blood is a sexual thing for vampires. Um... think about Buffy."

Josh snorts with laughter and lifts his head further, propping his chin on a fist. "Donna, didn't I say before this wasn't the real life plot of a bad TV show?"

"Yeah and you also said you weren't a vampire but the fact your face looks as craggy as Mount Rushmore is kind of disputing that argument."

"Do I have the image of all four of them my head?" He smirks. "'Cause, you know, that would make for some amusing conversations up on The Hill."

"That wasn't what I meant!" I spit, irritated because he's making light of the fact he's a GODDAMN VAMPIRE! Okay, calm down, Donna. You yelling - even in your head - is not going to help things.

"Sorry," he offers, somewhat lamely, and rubs a hand over his face. His fingers pause momentarily on his forehead and he sighs. "Ah well."

"You seem fairly calm, Josh. I mean for someone who's just discovered what is quite literally a life changing... whatever."

"Death changing?" He grins and offers another shrug. "But I breathe and my heart is beating so maybe I'm not a stereotypical vampire."

"You're not a stereotypical anything, Josh. Trust you to make even this so completely difficult."

He gives me another grin. "If I were easy you wouldn't like me."

"Josh, if you were easy my life would be completely hassle free so don't make me decide which one I'd prefer right now. I'm exhausted, annoyed, freaked out because you're a vampire and, to top it off, my hand is killing me." I flex my fingers experimentally, wincing at the sting.

He stares at my hand again, and his fingers creep forward to curl through mine. "Donna?"

"Yeah?"

"What did you really mean when you said hot?"

"Um..." His thumb starts tracing tiny patterns across mine, inching closer and closer to where my skin is sliced. "I meant aroused. Just because, you know, on TV - at least the modern day stuff - vampires seem to get aroused by blood. So I just, you know... wondered."

"I remember..." he says slowly, his voice low and gravelly again. "Before in here, when I scratched you..."

I nod. "When I had you down like a hog tied calf-"

"Nice. Let's just keep that to ourselves okay?"

I shift my head on my arm, and nod again. "Go on then."

"I said that I could smell you, and I wanted to taste you."

"Yeah, and then I whacked you with a coffee mug."

"Maybe we'll keep that to ourselves as well," he grins.

"Do you still want to taste me?" I whisper, holding my breath because I'm not sure what I want to answer to be. His thumb touches the very edge of the cut and I wince again. "Ouch."

"Sorry," Josh offers and my toes curl at the raw edginess in his voice. "And the answer is no, I don't want to taste you."

He smiles at me, and I stare at his eyes. The red doesn't bother me so much anymore. His face doesn't bother me, his teeth don't bother me. He looks like Josh - Josh as a vampire - but still Josh.

He's genuinely frightened and confused. But - I tip my head to the side and regard him thoughtfully - he also has that look in his eyes. The one he's given me on countless occasions... the one that makes my entire body tingle with desire.

"Liar," I whisper. "I know you do."

"But I'm not going to," he whispers back. "I don't care what I want to do; I completely refuse to hurt you, Donna."

"Why would it hurt me? I've already hurt myself by cutting my hand. So what's wrong with you just wiping of a little blood with your thumb and tasting it? Better yet, why don't you just lick my palm?"

"Don't be like that," he murmurs, and his hand closes my fingers into a fist. He lets go of my hand and sits up. "Don't get upset, Donna. I need you to be sensible. I don't need you to panic, or cry, or get upset, or anything."

"I'm not!" I hiss. Except... yeah, I am. Maybe not panicking, but certainly getting upset. "I want to help you, Josh; I want to figure out what happened and why you're not a typical vampire. And why you're even a vampire to begin with!"

Josh takes a deep breath and exhales with force, then shrugs again. "Now what?"

"I better put a band aid on this, Josh. Don't want to bleed everywhere."

"Yeah." He nods. "Yeah, sure. Good idea."

"I'll be back soon." I push back my chair and leave the kitchen, heading for the bathroom. The cut isn't deep and it's already starting to clot, but I feel the need to get away from him, just for a minute or so to catch my breath and calm down.

I switch on the bathroom light and open the medicine cabinet to get a band aid. It doesn't cover the cut completely so I add another one, and then a third to make doubly sure that there is no trace whatsoever of any open, bleeding skin. It's not that I don't believe him when he says he doesn't want to attack me, I'm just... erring on the side of caution.

I close the cabinet and stare at myself in the mirror. I look terrible. Granted, it's the middle of the night and I haven't had much sleep, but I look hideous. I use a finger to stretch the skin below one of my eyes and grimace as it refuses to bounce back.

"You don't look that bad, you know," a voice murmurs in my ear.

I scream, and spin around. "Jesus, Josh, what the hell? Didn't I make it perfectly clear that you can't go sneaking up in people in the dark?" He looks normal again - face the same as it used to be and his teeth and eyes: regular, human teeth and eyes.

"I didn't sneak up!" Josh splutters. "And the light is on!"

"Well, I didn't see... wait. Wait a second." I turn around and stare into the mirror again. Josh is standing just behind me - I should be able to see him. And, of course, I can't. "God."

"What?"

I grab his shoulders and push him to stand between me and the mirror. "Josh, can you see yourself?"

"That would be a no."

"Right." I pause, and then repeat myself. "Right, okay. Right. Well..." Deciding that shutting up would possibly enable my brain to start working again, I stop talking and drop my head against his back, pressing my cheek into the hard muscles of his shoulder.

"This is so coooool," he burbles excitedly. "If I had self esteem issues, the fact that I don't exist when there's a mirror around could really screw me up."

"Not helping." I snuggle my head a little deeper into his shoulder, breathing in the wonderful Josh scent that never fails to cheer me up. Vampire or not - he still smells amazing. Another few seconds and I'll have to deal with the fact that he's invisible but, for now, I let myself relax.

"Seriously, Donna. All I can see is you all scrunched up in this weird position."

I lift my head and stare over his shoulder at nothing but myself in the mirror. My eyes twitch, desperately trying to decide what image they should believe, and I turn away, and sit down on the edge of the bathtub. "Josh, can we have just a little bit of shush?" I plead. "Give me some time to process this, okay?"

"You bet." He falls silent and I rub my face with my hands and take a few deep, calming breaths and try to picture a place where I can feel tranquility. Hawaii. Sun, sand, the gentle crashing of waves upon the shoreline. The smell of coconut oil, warmed by the sun.

An excited "Hey, look at this!" interrupts my imaginary vacation. Two minutes of silence was too much to ask for, I suppose. But, since he's now a vampire, I suppose I can also cut him a little slack.

"What?"

Josh is waving my toothbrush in the air. "You gotta come see this, Donna. It's magic. I can do magic!" He grabs the hand towel from the hook beside the sink and shakes it vigorously. "This is totally cool."

I stand beside him and watch the towel fluttering in the mirror as though it were floating on a breeze. "As disturbing as this whole thing is, I agree, it's kind of cool."

"You think I could make money out of this?"

"No, I do not think you could make money. I think if any money were to be made, it would be parading you around as a man with vampirish characteristics. Vampiric? What do you think that word would be?"

"No idea. Can we see what else I can do?"

I grab the towel from his hand and put it back in its rightful place. "Okay, listen, I know this is cool and fun and all that. But we have to remember the big picture here; the picture being that you are a vampire. Half vampire. Whatever. So yes, it's fun to pretend things are flying around in the air but can we have a little perspective here, Josh? Please?"

"You were the one who wanted to do all that research. And you made a list. You gotta put invisible on the list as well."

"You're not invisible," I argue, as we head back into my bedroom to add this newest development to the list. "You just can't be seen in a mirror and, Josh, this is not something to be happy about."

"Why?"

I sit on the edge of my bed and scribble 'No reflection' at the bottom of my list. "Popular myth states that a vampire has no reflection because he has no soul."

"Well that's just silly. Everyone has a soul," Josh scoffs as he sits next to me.

"Vampires don't. That's why they're evil killers who want to suck the blood from every living creature and... stuff."

"But I don't want to suck the blood from every living creature. I don't want to hurt anyone, Donna. And I have a soul." He rests his head on my shoulder and traces a finger over the back of my injured hand.

I close my eyes for a brief moment and sigh softly. "Oh, Josh. I'm so confused. I don't know what we should be doing."

"Research. Come on, Donna, don't fall apart on me now. I need you." He nuzzles deeper against my neck. "So go online and do researchy stuff. You have a laptop - I gave you one."

"Okay, okay. Researchy stuff. Get off me so I can get my laptop." When I push him away, he makes a little noise and gives me a frown. "God, Josh. Becoming a vampire has certainly made you whinier."

"I think I'm allowed to be," he mutters as he wraps the comforter around himself, "considering the circumstances."

"Fine. Since you're now a vampire, you're allowed to complain." I leave him behind as he snuggles into the pillows on my bed, and go into the living room to get my laptop. On the way back, I bypass my fridge and take a large swallow from a half opened bottle of white wine. Just to steady my nerves.

Josh is still curled up on my bed and when I appear in the doorway, he grins up at me and lifts the comforter. "Warm me up while we research."

"Give me two seconds to plug this in."

"'Kay." He hums to himself while I set up my laptop and log onto the internet, and then climb in next to him. He settles the comforter over our legs as I start Googling.

"I'm not exactly sure what I should be looking for," I admit. "Do you think I should just type in vampire and see what comes up?"

"I'm going to let you do what you think is best. The Internet and I have not had such a great relationship in the past."

"And yet you think it'll help now?" I type in a few extra words in the search field and press enter.

"I think you're a genius with the Internet and, therefore, you will be able to get all the information we need."

"You sure do know how to flatter a girl." I smile. "Why couldn't you compliment me before you were bitten?"

"Ummmm," he drags out, and his feet rub softly against mine. "I was shy?"

I snort in response, and click the first link that appears on the screen. "Okay so this page says that vampires are generally believed to be folklore."

"Explain me, then?"

"I said generally, Josh. It also says that the earliest record of vampires is in ancient Babylonian texts and they reference female demons who were somewhat genocidal."

"Sure okay, history is all good here, but-"

"Do you want me to research or not? I need background information here!"

"'Kay." Josh's toes wiggle against my feet. "Don't yell at the vampire."

"Idiot," I mutter, and scroll down the webpage for more information. "Okay, okay, listen to this: the vampire believed to be the mother of all vampires was called Lilith. And she was Jewish!"

"A Jewish vampire?"

"Well, technically not Jewish, but it's part of Jewish demonology. Doesn't explain everything about you but since, as far as I know, vampires are scared of all things Christian, maybe it's a clue?"

Josh nods eagerly. "We could be on to something. Keep reading, and I'll keep warming up your toes. You're freezing, Donna."

"That's because I have an icy cold vampire in my bed."

"And aren't you lucky that you do."

"Hmm." I ignore him and scroll further down the page. "Apart from Babylon, most of the early vampiric records are rooted in East European legends. Russian, Serbian, Polish. But that was more the Catholic side."

"My grandfather was Polish," Josh says softly.

"Yeah, I know."

"Jewish, though."

"I know. It might be another clue but you have to be quiet and let me research." He obliges and settles his head onto my shoulder again. I click a few links on the page and read up on more legends. While I study, Josh continues to rub his feet over my bare legs. I kind of like the feeling. He's still cool to the touch, but I feel warm with him beside me and when he starts stroking my arm with his hand, I don't pull away.

"Anything yet?"

"Shh," I say firmly. "Patience is a virtue, and you better get used to being patient."

"Why?"

"Because you're immortal, Josh. You're never going to die because you're already dead. Sort of."

"Oh." He falls silent again, and moves a little bit closer to me, pressing his whole body against my side.

I scroll through lists of characteristics and traits of modern vampires, making a mental note of the most obvious ones, and then stumble onto a page that details ways and methods to kill a vampire.

"Ohhh, it has to be a stake."

"What does?"

"Wooden stake, Josh. The reason why you didn't get scared by the chopsticks is that you actually need a sharp stake to kill a vampire. Preferably aspen. Do you know of any aspen trees around here that-"

"Why do we want aspen trees, Donna?" Josh interrupts, his voice incredibly high pitched. He sits up, and gives me a wide eyed look of panic. "Why do we want to get a sharp aspen stake?"

"Josh, no," I begin, but he interrupts me again.

"I can't die; you just said I couldn't die because I was already sort of dead, and now you want to kill me? Which you can't because I'm dead. Sort of. Oh God, I'm panicking. Why am I panicking? I don't want to die. Again. Ever." His eyes cloud over with tears and I pull him into my arms for a hug.

"Josh, I was just throwing thoughts around, okay?" He buries his face into my neck and I squeeze tighter. "I need to know everything if I'm going to fix you up, so don't worry about anything. Here." I push him away and reach over to my nightstand for a box of tissues. "You're not allowed to cry on me because I'm on the verge of tears myself and we both have to be strong for each other."

Josh nods and scrubs at his eyes with a tissue. "Oh, Donna," he snuffles. "I'm tired and confused. My entire life has been shaken up in the space of a few minutes and I think I'm taking it remarkably well but I really don't want to be dead. And, despite the benefits to mankind, I don't want to be immortal."

"I know. I don't want you to be that either. I want you to be the same stubborn, selfish, immature, adorably lovable Josh as always. I wish it wasn't three in the morning and I wish that you weren't a vampire. But it is and you are and we have to solve this. We solve things, Josh. You and I. That's what we do."

"You think I'm lovable? Adorably lovable?"

"Well..." I begin and then narrow my eyes as his entire mood changes and a gleeful grin spreads across his face. "Fine, yes. That's not the point, Josh. Stop your sniveling now."

"As long as you stop talking about staking me."

"Fine. No stake talk, no love talk. Only vampire talk."

"Weeeeell, I didn't say no love talk. You just added that." Josh grins at me. "Interesting slip of the tongue there."

"No talking about tongues either, Josh. How on earth did the conversation take such a childish direction? We have serious business to do now."

"Right," he nods and then adds, "serious play later." He holds up his hands defensively when I glare at him. "I'll be good."

I shake my head. "How is it your mood can change so dramatically from one minute to the next?"

"Vampire." Josh shrugs and slides his right arm across my shoulders. I lean back against it as he adds, "We have mood swings."

"Oh you do, do you?"

"Yep." He pulls the comforter over our bodies again. "Very annoying actually. Up and down. Coming and going. Never know if we're alive or dead half the time."

I roll my eyes at him. "You're insane, Josh. I really think this has sent you completely round the bend."

"Possibly," he nods. "Very possibly true there, Donna." He bends his head down to whisper in my ear. "So I'm an adorably loveable insane vampire, and you're my adorably lovable... what?" His breath warms my cheek, but I shiver regardless. "Donna?"

"Stop that."

"No."

"You promised you wouldn't scare me anymore," I whisper back, trying to swallow the lump that has suddenly caught in my throat.

"You're not scared, you're aroused," he disputes. "I know you're aroused because I can hear your heart pounding."

"I am not," I hiss. "And my heart is pounding because I'm just, um..." I close my eyes as I feel his lips flicker over my neck. "Stop that."

"Stop what?" Josh murmurs, the vibrations created by his words tickling my skin. "I'm doing nothing."

"Please don't kiss me," I plead, but even as I'm saying it, I know we're both going to ignore the request.

"Okay," he whispers, and his arm across my shoulders angles me to face him. "But I'm not going to wait for long."

~~

"Thanks for verbalizing what you've been unconsciously saying for years," she mutters, breaking the intimacy of the moment when she shifts her body slightly away from me. I move my arm out from behind her shoulders as she continues, "On the vampire issue, though, I want to get answers, Josh. You asked me to research and as much as I like having you doing things to my neck - actually, no, I don't like it because it's distracting and I need to research."

She gives me a firm look and focuses on her laptop again; I focus, however, on the little point in the hollow of her throat where I can see her pulse. It's still fast, and I stroke my fingertip over the spot. To my delight, it quickens, matching the rhythmic sound of her heart.

"You're not going to distract me again, Josh."

"I'm just testing out a theory," I reply. "If it distracts you, then I can hardly be to blame."

"Since you're the one doing the distracting then, yes, you can be the one to blame and I choose to blame you because I can never concentrate when you touch me."

"Never?" I smile. "Even in the past?"

She pauses in her typing and then nods. "Yes, Josh. I have always had difficulty concentrating whenever you've touched me. Happy?"

"Very." I continue to stroke my finger over the pulse point, and she sighs and returns to her searching. "Found anything else useful?"

"Apart from what makes a typical vampire, and how to kill them?" Donna asks. "No. And, as I said before, you're not a typical vampire. Most everything I've read says that as a vampire, you're dead. As in no breathing, no heartbeat, nothing. But you have a heartbeat. And you're breathing, even if it's very slow. So strike one there."

"What about the fact I don't have a reflection?"

"Explainable by having no soul," she shrugs. "No soul means no reflection for some reason although there really isn't anything I can find to explain why that is."

"I have a soul. You can't have a conscience without a soul and I have a conscience, despite occasional evidence to the contrary."

"So that's another thing different. Wrong." She yawns widely, and runs a hand through her hair. "God, why can't I remember the word?"

"Disconcerting?"

"No. You know what I mean. When something should be one thing but it's another and you don't know why?"

I think about it for a few seconds. "Mysterious?"

"No, I know. Confusing."

"Wait a second; the word you couldn't remember was 'confusing'?"

"Yes."

"But-"

"Josh."

"Right. Confusing. I mean, I get that. It is confusing. But I know I have a soul. And a conscience. If I didn't have a conscience then I wouldn't have stopped kissing your neck when you asked because I knew it was scaring you."

She frowns. "That's your justification for having a soul?"

"Well, yes. I mean, think about it this way. No soul means you have no goodness in you, right? You're pure evil. If I was pure evil, I wouldn't have stopped kissing you. I would have kept on kissing your neck, and then maybe your mouth and, and probably done a lot of other thin- uh... you see my point."

Donna looks over at me and smiles softly. "I see your point. And I know you have a soul. You're a good man, Josh. I've never thought differently and the fact you're now considered to be one of the evil, walking undead, won't make me think differently."

"Evil, walking undead?"

"Vampire" She smiles again. "But you're still the same old Josh to me."

"Even though I attacked you in the kitchen, and scared you in the bathroom, and... kissed your neck in bedroom?" I ask.

"The non-vampire Josh probably wouldn't have tried to attack me, and probably not scared me - at least on purpose." She pauses for a second and looks down at the laptop, then mutters, "And maybe I wouldn't have minded the old Josh kissing me."

My throat tightens suddenly as she flicks her eyes up to look at me. "In the bedroom or on the neck?"

"Well..." she pauses again, and then smiles shyly. "Anywhere, really. Bedroom. Bathroom. The office. I wouldn't have minded so much. And not just my neck. Anywhere would have been, um, okay, this is sort of-"

"Confusing?"

"Yeah, maybe."

"Are we... are we having a moment here?" I look down at the laptop resting on her thighs. "I mean, should we be having a moment - something - here when we've got this vampire thing looming over our heads?"

"You're right, yes of course. We need to figure out why you're a vampire or, at least, why you have several confusing vampirish characteristics. Vampiric? I have to figure out the correct grammar to use."

"Yes, Donna. The correct grammar is what's important here," I chuckle. "But how about we focus on the actual fact that I appear to be a vampire and then focus on the kissi- I mean... other stuff afterwards?"

She ducks her head down but I can still see the blush creeping down her throat and across the exposed skin above the neckline of her shirt. Wow. I wonder how far down... no, focus, Josh.

"Right. Vampire. We think you're a vampire. An atypical vampire, but a vampire nevertheless. I think the first thing we should be focusing on is that you wanted to attack me and that for some reason, the idea of me bleeding makes you all-"

"Excited."

"Yeah, that."

"Aroused would be a more accurate description," I clarify. "Since it's seems that we might, possibly, have to change the nature of our relationship, I think I should admit that thinking about you and your blood gives me an, um..." I squish my eyes closed because I'm incredibly embarrassed to say the next word.

"Erection," Donna offers and I open my eyes and nod. "I know." She chews on her lower lip and blushes even deeper. "I could feel it when you were sitting on me in the kitchen."

"Ah." I'm not exactly sure what I should say next. What does one say in a situation such as this? "Sorry."

"Don't be. It's another piece of the puzzle." She reaches up and strokes her thumb across my forehead. "Do you think... how did you...?"

"I don't know, Donna. All I can remember is that when I was on top of you, I was thinking about what I wanted to do to you - and by that, without admitting anything, it wasn't to kill you - and they just appeared."

"And when I cut myself they appeared again," she adds. "So it's not just about sex."

"No. I mean, yes. Sex. Or the fact that I'm attracted to you and would like to... you know." I waggle my eyebrows at her and she presses her lips together to hide a smile. "But I have to admit that in the kitchen the second time, I was sort of thinking about that as well," I admit, and then add, "sex," in case she doesn't understand.

"So if you think about having sex with me, you could make the bumpies appear again?"

"Bumpies? God, Donna, I don't know if we should be calling them," I dissolve into laughter, "bumpies."

"Oh, shut up," she says sulkily. "What the hell should I call them?"

"Something a little more manly than bumpies, please," I demand between snorts of laughter. "I can't be a badass vampire with bumpies."

Donna rolls her eyes at me yet again and I quiet down my chuckles because she's starting to glare. "You want to be a badass vampire?"

"You think I should be a sweet and fluffy vampire?" I tap randomly at the laptop keys to see what I can find, but she pushes my hand away. "No, seriously, I don't think in all your research you've come across a nice, friendly, non-fictional vampire."

"Well... no."

"So I have to be badass. In the nice way of course. I won't go around converting people to the dark side. I don't really want to bite anyone at all. You know what the sight of blood does to me." I shudder at the thought. "Except, of course, your blood. So I'm safe, right?"

"Yes, Josh, you're effectively a neutered vampire. Except that my blood makes your bump- I mean, your forehead wrinkle up and your eyes go red and I believe you also had a set of very sharp looking teeth."

"Cool," I grin. "Except for the neutered part. Can we please not say anything about that? Or that fact that your knee very nearly did neuter me?"

"Sorry. Okay no talk about that. But seriously, do you think you can make your face do it again?"

I consider the opportunity being presented to me. "You mean without being on top of you? Because I'm pretty sure if I were on-"

"Without," Donna says firmly. "Try just... doing it, I guess. Concentrate really hard?"

"And what exactly is the purpose of this?"

"To see if it's just me that changes your appearance. You know, sex and me. Or blood and me. Try and see if you can do it without being on top of me, or seeing my blood." Donna sighs. "God, this whole conversation has just degenerated into something my mother would be embarrassed to overhear."

"This whole night has degenerated into something definitely embarrassing," I mutter as I close my eyes and try to make my forehead wrinkle up again. I frown, waggle my eyebrows around, squash my face into odd shapes but I can't feel anything changing. I flick open one eye to see Donna, one hand covering her mouth as she tries not to laugh.

"Whaaaaat?" I whine.

"You look like as though you've got a serious lack of fiber in your diet, Josh," she splutters. "And you're trying very hard to try and rectify the um... problem."

"Oh, thanks," I scowl. "I'm only doing what you asked, Donna, and while it's very nice that it can give you some amusement, your laughing isn't helping."

"I'm sorry," Donna says, instantly contrite. "Try again and I promise not to laugh." She swipes a finger across her chest. "Cross my heart and hope to die. Or, not die." She wrinkles her nose. "Bad choice of words there."

"Do that again," I say quickly, realizing that the sight of her hand touching her breast has made the skin on my face tingle just a little.

"What?"

"Cross your heart. Slowly."

She gives me a quizzical look, but obeys, slowly dragging her finger one way, and then the other, over her heart. "Okay, definitely feeling... something."

"Really?"

I nod and close my eyes. It's not that I've ever really imagined us having sex before - I've just never let it take up conscious residence in my mind. Never really pictured the act, the sounds, the emotions involved.

But now I let the images I've suppressed for so long flash through my mind. Donna. Soft and warm in my arms. Feeling her naked skin pressing against mine. Her hot, wet body shuddering as I slide deep inside her. Hearing her voice cry my name over and over as I make her come.

I think about how much I love her, how much I want to love her, how much I want her to love me, what it'll finally feel like when we're tangled up in each other for the rest of our lives. Just the basics.

Oh God.

"Oh God," Donna breathes, and I feel her fingers against the creases on my forehead, trembling ever so slightly. "You did it. Your face is-"

"Don't you dare say bumpy, Donna," I threaten as I open my eyes, "or I may have to hit you."

"I won't," she promises, and pushes the laptop aside with her free hand before shifting her body so she's kneeling on the bed beside me. "I just... I should be scared again. I should. But I'm not."

"Maybe you're finally learning to trust me?" I joke, and she smiles.

"I always trusted you, Josh. It's not that. I feel..." she bites at her lower lip thoughtfully and brings both hands up to my forehead again. "How did you do this?"

For a brief moment, I consider lying to her. We may have made comments about sex, but they were lighthearted - the same general banter that we've always... hidden behind. I don't know how far she wants this to go. How far it can go, considering the circumstances. All I know is that I want to make her mine - have wanted that since I first walked into her apartment, and if I'm being honest and not resisting years of repressed feelings, wanted it from probably ten minutes after I first met her.

"Josh," she says as she pushes the laptop fully out of the way, and then slides one over my thighs to straddle me. I look up at her and try very hard not to start hyperventilating. How many fantasies have I had where Donna slides on top of me and- "Josh?"

I shake my head to erase the image. "Huh, what?"

She grins. "What are you thinking about?"

"Um... work?"

She bends forward, pressing herself against my lap. "Liar." Her hips curl down and I feel the skin on my face tighten even more as an overpowering wave of strength explodes through my body.

"God, Donna, you really need to get off me before I do something we both regret," I hiss, slamming my hands down onto her thighs to stop her from moving closer. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to stop myself from grabbing her and doing things that -despite the almost overwhelming desire to do so - I know I can't. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't," she whispers. "Because I know you, Josh."

"You don't know me, Donna. I'm a vampire now. Things are completely different," I say a little sadly. "Everything has changed."

Donna leans forward until her forehead is resting against mine and I close my eyes because staring into hers at such a close distance would no doubt dissolve all my inhibitions in one fell swoop. The bluey greenness of her eyes always have a hypnotic effect on me - even on my best days - and I have no doubt that staring deep into her eyes right now would be the final nail in my..., okay, the straw that broke the camel's back then. Because the lack of ability to control anything tonight would overcome me and I'd end up flipping her onto her back and-

"Change isn't so bad," she whispers, her warm breath tickling my nose as she thankfully interrupts my train of thought before I act on it. "You're going to have to get used to it because you have no choice. You're a vampire and of course that means things are different."

Filled with sudden sadness at what this might mean for us despite the fact that there really isn't an us, I whisper back, "I don't know how to deal with this."

"Don't worry," Donna leans back, shifting her body so she's not pressed so firmly against my crotch, and I open my eyes. Her smile is one of reassurance and I smile back because, regardless of all my fear and confusion, Donna's wide grin never fails to make me smile in return. "We'll figure it out one thing at a time, Josh. You were thinking about having sex with me, right?"

"Well... yes," I admit.

As her hands slide down over my cheeks, I feel the plastic of the band aids covering the gash on her palm scrape my skin, "Your eyes are red again."

"Bet that looks good."

"Still the same eyes though. Windows to the soul," Donna murmurs as her fingers slide across my mouth. "Open." I obey and she nods. "And the sharp teeth."

"Why are you poking your fingers into my mouth?" I mumble around them.

"Research."

"Ah." There really is nothing else I can say because of the fingers so I let her get on with her research. She's staring intently at my mouth; when she leans closer, a strand of hair falls across her face and I reach up to push it aside. She twists her head slightly and I cup her cheek with my hand.

"You were thinking about having sex with me and you turned into a vampire," she murmurs. "I don't really know how to feel about that." She drops her fingers from my lips with a sigh.

"Flattered?" I offer and when she frowns, I add, "Maybe not then."

"No," she shakes her head. "No, it is flattering, Josh. I guess I feel... okay, well, on one of the websites I visited, it said that when a vampire actually looks like a vampire - you know, when they have the bumps and the eyes... and the teeth - well when they're in that, I don't know, state of being, I suppose..."

"Are you going to come to a point soon?"

"It's animalistic, Josh. It's the basic human - well, vampire - instinct. Automatic. When you think about me in that way, you can't help changing and... and, I don't know. I guess it pleases me that I bring out that out in you." She takes a deep breath. "That I can cause you to-"

"Lose control?"

"Yeah. I guess." She smiles shyly, "It makes me feel strong. Powerful. God, I sound stupid, don't I? I don't mean it like that. I just mean that..." she trails off and another blush creeps over her face and neck.

I grin widely. "You like it that I lose control of all my basic faculties when I think about you naked."

"Yeah."

"Which is why I've tried never to think about you that way before," I admit. "Because I knew what would happen."

"You'd turn into a vampire?" Donna snorts.

"No," I laugh, then take a deep breath and decide to admit another secret I've hidden for years, "but I'd probably sweep everything off my desk, push you down onto it and, well, you know."

She raises her eyebrows. "In the office? With everyone walking around outside?"

"Which is why I tried very hard not to think about you naked before. But, now that we're talking freely, I have to say that I'm probably going to keep thinking about for the rest of my life - however long that is." And I am thinking about it - I can't help it.

"If you keep thinking about having sex with me, how are you going to get rid of the vampire face?" Donna points out. "You're going to have to stop thinking about it eventually."

I shrug. "I figure once I actually have sex with you that'll fix it."

"Oh really?"

"Yep. I really do think it'll solve everything."

"Probably won't stop you being a vampire deep inside though," Donna muses as she climbs off my lap to sit beside me. She leans back against the headboard, then forward as I slide my arm behind her again. She drops her head on my arm and takes a deep breath. "I should find it strange that all of a sudden we're talking about having sex with each other when this evening at work you were yelling at me because your burger wasn't burnt enough. Strange that we've suddenly gone from boss and employee to something... else."

"I don't think we were ever boss and employee in the generally recognized manner, and it's hardly strange now, Donna," I say. "Okay, so maybe the whole vampire thing sped it up a little. I don't know."

"I don't know either," she sighs. "I don't know anything anymore. It's just... too much." She turns her face into my neck and when she sighs again I lace the fingers of my left hand through hers and stare at the little scratch on her arm. I did that to her. And she cut her palm to see what would happen so she could help me figure out what was going on. I attacked her. I scared her. I feel my face soften and my teeth shrink and from the expression on her face, I realize that mine has gone back to normal.

"What were you thinking about then?"

I sigh in resignation. "How I hurt you before. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." She shakes her head. "We'll fix this."

"Yeah." As usual, Donna doesn't know what to do but she still wants to make it all better. Why is it she's always fixing me up - why can't I make it all better for her now? I will make it better. I press my lips to her forehead and give her a soft kiss.

"Josh."

"Yeah?"

"What the hell was that?"

"Trying to make it all better?"

"Try harder," she whispers, voice laced with longing.

I slide my lips from her forehead, lean down, and brush them softly against her mouth. She doesn't push me away - in fact, she presses closer to me - so I kiss her a little more firmly and use my hand to tip her head back.

She opens her mouth willingly, and I slide my tongue inside, testing the waters. Oh God, I can't believe that I'm actually kissing Donna - something that I've wanted to do for as long as I can remember. I also can't believe that the only reason I'm finally kissing Donna is because I'm trying to make her feel better since I'm now a vampire.

I pull my head away and yank my arm out from behind her head. "I'm sorry."

Donna frowns at me. "For what?"

She's breathing pretty heavily, and I can still hear her heart pounding. Before, I thought it was because of... desire or something. But I've been wrong about those things before - especially with her - so I'm just going to assume that it's because there's not a lot of oxygen in the room.

"For kissing you," I admit as I shift a little farther to the right so I'm not completely invading her personal space. "I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."

"Josh."

"I mean, I'm not sorry for kissing you. Really not. Not at all," I state firmly. "I'm just sorry for kissing you because I'm a vampire. Even though I think you kind of liked it, I'm still sorry. I said that, right?" Why on earth am I still babbling? She's smiling at me, the Josh-is-babbling-like-a-moron-so-I'll-keep-smiling-until-he-shuts-up-on-his-own smile. I shut up.

"Josh, if I really didn't want you to kiss me, then you wouldn't have been able to kiss me. Vampire or not, there's nothing you can make me do that I don't want to do, okay?"

"'Kay."

"I am a little upset that the first time you choose to kiss me is when you've been turned into a vampire and I can't help but think that it has something to do with it, but I also think that there's not much else that can shake me up tonight, so I'm just going with the flow and can you please kiss me again?"

"Are you sure?"

She nods her head. "Yes."

"You don't care that I'm-"

"No."

"So you're okay that-"

"Yes." She smiles at me. "I am okay that you're a vampire because I learned a long time ago that you'll do your own thing, in your own way, and I accept that because... well, because I-"

"I think I love you," I blurt out suddenly, surprising myself even more than Donna who's staring at me in complete shock.

"What?"

"I think I love you," I repeat.

"You think?" she asks, stressing the second word. "Years and years of spending practically every waking moment, and many non-waking moments, together and you're STILL NOT SURE?"

She has a point. Why can't I just tell her how much... God, I'm an idiot - just be a man for once. Vampire. Whatever.

"Firstly, please don't yell at me, Donna," I begin. "I shouldn't have said think. I should have said definitely. I definitely love you. I'm in love with you. But I'm also a newly born vampire, and I'm a little unsteady with everything at the moment so cut me a little slack please?"

"Well," she tips her head to the side and stares at me thoughtfully. "Just a little slack, maybe."

"Oh how very kind and gracious you are when I'm at my most vulnerable," I sulk. "I just threw my feelings for you right out there on the table-"

"Bed," she interrupts with a grin.

"Whatever. I'm all exposed now and you're just sitting here, yelling at me? Not cool, Donna."

"Exposed in what way, Josh?" she asks. "'Cause, you know, you seem to be more dressed than I am at this point."

I stare down at her shirt - one that she'd stolen from me sometime in the past, which makes me more than a little bit pleased that she would choose to wear my old clothes to bed - and smile. "Want me to take off my clothes then? Level the playing field?"

"Uh, no. Probably not a good idea for you to be naked right now."

I raise my eyebrows. "Why?"

"Because. Also probably not a good idea to keep staring at my breasts, Josh," she adds. "Could give me the wrong idea."

"Or the right one," I counter, but lift my eyes to her face. "I won't stare at your breasts anymore, no matter how much they... you know."

"Make you turn into a vampire?"

"There's that."

"Give you an erection?"

"And that."

"You know," she begins, "I don't think I have a problem with that. Not really. I think."

"You think?" I splutter. "Five minutes ago you got upset at me because I wasn't sure if loved you. Now you say you're not sure if you like it that you turn me on? In my book, it's a good thing."

"Well," she begins, "I do like it. A lot. In fact, I like it so much that if you asked me to do something, I would probably say yes but I don't think we should." She gives me a regretful smile.

"You don't want to have sex with a vampire. I get that. It's okay." I nod, trying to not to feel offended.

Donna shakes her head. "Josh, no. It's not that. I mean, it is that. But it's more that you and I are boss and employee. And it's only the fact that you're a vampire, that you've admitted that you love me. Which, while it's a good thing that you've said it, is a bad thing because you said it after you turned into a vampire. So is it you? Or the vampire? Or..." she trails off and drops her head into her hands with a groan. "Why is this so hard?"

I slide my arm behind her shoulders and pull her against me. "Donna, I don't have an answer for you. I could tell you what you want to hear but I don't want to lie. Not that it would be a lie but the reason I told you that I loved you is not clear to me either. I just do. I have for years. And it's not an 'I think' kind of love. It's an 'I do' love."

She looks up at me and smiles. "You do?"

"I do." I grin back and then, realizing what I've just said, stop smiling. "Okay, I don't-"

"Josh, stop panicking," Donna continues to smile. "You just admitted you loved me after years of repression. I don't expect a proposal any time soon." She pauses for a second and then adds, "Or at all."

"Right. Good. Okay." I squeeze her shoulder and stare down at the screen of her laptop. The page display shows some extremely graphic images of vampires, blood dripping from their fangs. "God."

Donna looks down as well. "Yeah. That's what they do."

"I can't..." I clench my jaw as the realization slams me into me. "Oh, God! I'm going to have to do that. Drink blood. That's what vampires do." I take a few deep breaths. "Okay, tell me there's a way out of drinking blood. I don't want to drink blood. I can't stand the sight of blood. Even saying the word blood is..." I lean forward to try and control the nausea rising in my throat. It's taken me awhile to get here, but now I'm getting the picture of what my life - death? - is going to be like from here on out, and my stomach is not happy about it.

"Josh, you didn't have this reaction when you were thinking about my blood," Donna points out. "So why does other blood make you sick?"

"Stop saying blood," I plead from behind the hand covering my mouth to stop myself from throwing up.

"Sorry," she frowns. "This is confusing me here. Vampires need to drink blood to survive. They don't eat normal food."

"They don't or they can't?"

"Don't, I think. Well what I've read says that they don't need food because they get all their nutrition - vitamins and minerals - from blood."

"But they do eat food?"

Donna frowns again. "I guess so. For taste maybe?"

"So I can eat food but I still need blood to survive?" I lean back against the headboard and close my eyes to try to quell the waves of nausea. "I have to stop thinking about blood."

~~

"I don't understand how this is making you sick, Josh," I point out. "My blood seems to have the opposite effect on you!"

He opens his eyes to stare at me. "Right. Yours is..."

"Good?"

"Yeah," he mutters. "It doesn't bother me at all."

"So, maybe..." I bite my lower lip and take a deep breath. "Maybe you have to drink mine to survive."

"What?" he splutters. "No. No, no, no. I am not going to do that."

"But vampires need it, Josh." I tap at the keyboard and turn the laptop towards him. "Look."

His quickly reads the page which basically tells him that without blood, he's screwed. "Ah."

"So yes, you can go without blood for awhile but you'll just get weaker and weaker until it gets to the point where you can't control the need and end up going on a feeding frenzy."

"But I don't want to drink anyone's blood."

"Except mine," I remind him. "And if you abstain for too long, you'll end up ravaging me and probably killing me while you're at it."

"NO!" he screeches. "No, Donna, I would never hurt you. I can't believe you'd even think that!"

"You wouldn't be able to stop yourself from doing it, Josh. The demon inside you would take over and the sane, rational Josh wouldn't exist," I explain. "Except you've never really been sane or rational, have you?" I add with a teasing smile.

"How can you make jokes, Donna?" Josh asks. "You think we should laugh about the fact that, despite my best intentions, I could end up murdering you?"

"Because you won't," I shrug. "I won't let you."

"And you think you could stop me?" he scoffs. "Remember how strong I was when I was... changed? I'd hurt you."

I shake my head, and link my fingers through his again. "No, Josh. I was scared and you stopped, remember that?" He nods and I continue, "Despite that, I'd never let you get to the point where you'd lose control."

"How?"

"Because I'd let you..." I begin, unsure how to say this without blushing. I focus my eyes on our joined hands. "Well, you know..."

"Not really?"

Josh sounds confused and I take a deep breath and breathlessly blurt out, "Have me whenever you wanted." I squeeze my eyes shut as I feel another blush burn my skin.

"What?" he gasps. "Donna, I'm only now beginning to cope with the idea that I might just possibly be a vampire, and that because of me being a vampire, I've also admitted that I love you and from that you've said you love me."

"So?" I ask, and dare to look up at him.

"You want me to drink your blood now?"

"Yeah," I say quietly, "if it's the only way."

"No."

I sigh and release his hand to close the laptop and place it on the nightstand. I turn back to him, putting both my hands on his shoulders to angle him towards me. "Josh."

"Donna," he replies warily.

"If you need blood to survive and mine is the only blood that doesn't make you sick..." I raise my eyebrows at him.

"Yes, but we don't have the full picture yet," he says, "and my situation could be sort of, you know, permanent."

"Until someone stakes you," I add, "or sets you on fire, or chops off-"

"STOP!" he roars, and his hands fly to cover his crotch in what I can only assume is fear.

"-your head," I finish. "Did you think I was going to say something else?"

"Well, you did knee me there," he sulks, and then changes the topic of conversation with, "How am I supposed to know what kills a vampire! Which, for safety's sake, I don't think even you should know."

"Stake through the heart, decapitation, burning, drinking holy water," I list on my fingers.

"It seems to me that any of those thing would kill anyone just not vampires."

"Holy water?"

"Maybe not that," he shrugs. "But certainly everything else."

"Sunlight can cause problems as well," I add. "But I haven't been able to find a definitive record on whether or not it can kill you or just severely burn you. In any case, it's generally agreed that, historically, vampires have severe sunlight sensitivity."

He frowns, mulling over this new piece of information. "So I should avoid the sun completely just to be sure?"

I nod, "Pretty much. Now you'll get a Vampire tan instead of a White House one."

"Very funny," he says sarcastically. "Again with the jokes?"

"Oh, cheer up." I smile. "And don't change the subject."

"The subject being..."

"You drinking my blood to survive." I hold up a hand to stop me from interrupting. "I'm being serious, Josh, and I'm not sure how happy I am about it so if you can come up with a better solution, I'm all ears."

He exhales loudly and drops his head backwards until it hits the headboard. "I don't... Donna, what you're proposing will definitely change our relationship."

"I do not have a problem with that," I say firmly, hoping that my voice doesn't give away the tiny little slash of fear deep inside. I really don't have a problem with becoming his lover, something I'm almost certain is now destined to happen - something that I've wanted for an almost eternal length of time - but he is a vampire and I haven't yet been able to find anything on the Internet, excluding television lore, about what, if anything, would happen if the dead had sex with the living.

"You might not have a problem, Donna, but I do!" he exclaims. "I don't want what's happened to me end up happening to you."

"So don't drink my blood until I nearly die," I reply. "I'm sure you can hold off on draining me completely dry."

Josh groans. "I'm thoroughly disgusted by this conversation."

"I agree it's disturbing but I don't understand how the idea of drinking blood is making you sick, Josh. You obviously drank some before!"

"WHAT?" he screeches. "When?"

"To turn someone into a vampire, another vampire - generally know as a sire - has to drink their blood until they are almost dead and then that person has to drink the sire's blood. Exchanging blood is the only way."

Josh swallows very visibly and pales even further - if such a thing is possible. "Wait a second... I drank a vampire's blood tonight?"

"I assume so," I shrug, "so the question is... who was the vampire?"

"God." He swallows again. "I'm going to be sick. Donna, get out of my way!" I look at him in alarm as he jumps off the bed, pushing me aside, and makes a mad dash for the bathroom.

I give him a few minutes to himself. I can hear him retching and if he is indeed vomiting up blood, well... that's just something I'm not prepared to see right now. Or at all, if I'm being honest with myself.

So I wait until the noise has ceased and then I slip off my bed to find him. Josh is sitting on the closed lid of the toilet, head hanging between his knees, and I reach over to rest my hand on the back of his neck. He groans quietly and I slide my fingers through his hair, gently rubbing his scalp to comfort him.

"Are you okay?"

He lifts his head and shakes it; his face is ashen with dark shadows just beginning to appear beneath his eyes. "I-"

"Shh," I murmur, and fill a glass with water from the faucet and give it to him. He drinks it in a noisy gulp, and wipes the back of his hand with his mouth.

"Nothing came up," he says shakily. "I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Shh," I say again, and kneel down so I'm at his level. "Don't worry about it tonight, Josh, you don't have to get used to it right away."

"I don't want to get used to drinking blood - yours or anyone else's," he whimpers, tears sliding down his cheeks. I reach up to wipe them away and he turns his face into my hand. The tips of my fingers rest on the bumps in his forehead.

"Josh, don't think about it now," I encourage him. "I just want to be normal," he sighs, and I pull a string of toilet paper off the roll and hand it to him. He blows his nose and tosses the wad into the trash bin.

"He shoots, he scores!" I applaud, trying to cheer him up. He rewards me with a watery smile and I add, "Josh, you'll never be normal because you are the most un-normal person I have ever met and you know what?"

"What?"

I lean closer, sliding my fingers once again into the hair at the nape of his neck. "I still love you," I whisper, pulling his face down to mine. I press my lips against his and coax his mouth open with my tongue. I kiss him, hard and unyielding, years of pent up emotions driving me forward as I rise up and push him back against the cistern. I let go of his face and wrap my arms around his neck, slipping my leg over his to sit on his lap and I tip his head backwards, pressing my breasts against his chest as I keep kissing him, his tongue hot and wet and demanding. I lean closer, pushing my hips down, and a growl rises in his throat. Within seconds, his teeth lengthen against my tongue and, not afraid but unsettled nevertheless, I break away and stare at him.

"Well," I begin, dizzy from the intensity of kiss and the sensation of the very hard, very large lump in his pants pressing firmly between my legs. "I'm going to have to get used to that happening." "I'm sorry," he apologizes. "Does it really bother you?"

I shake my head. "It's just... disconcerting is all. Every time I kiss you, you change into a vampire."

"I thought you liked that?" Josh asks, confusion apparent amongst the curves on his face. "You said that you loved having that kind of control over me."

"I do," I sigh. "It's just... the physical thing. That's all." I slip my hands from his neck to cup his chin as I stare into his red eyes. "What do you want me to say to assure you that I'm not going anywhere?"

"Despite all this?"

"Because of all this," I insist. "You think I care that instead of being a brilliant yet emotionally retarded man, you're now a brilliant yet emotionally retarded vampire?"

"Way to make a guy feel great there, Donna," he mutters, but I interrupt him. "Shut up, I love you, Josh. Do you think I care that you're a vampire? Do you think that it changes the years and years of feelings I have for you? And now I'm going to kiss you again because I really like the feel of your mouth." Without waiting for an answer, I lean forward, and his hands slide around my waist as he pulls me against him.

I twirl my fingers into his hair again and tip my head back as his mouth moves away from mine; as his lips slide down over my chin, he growls and the sound raises the hair on my arms - not from fear but from desire. I want him. I don't care about anything anymore; I want to make love to him tonight.

Not in the bathroom though.

"Josh?" I whisper.

He lifts his head to stare into my eyes. "Yes?"

"Not here."

"Sorry?"

"Not here," I say firmly, sliding off him and holding out my hand. "Come with me."

"Are we...?"

"If you want," I nod. "Yes."

We stumble into the bedroom, his hand sliding over my arms, shoulders, breasts as he kisses me with a ferocity that makes me dizzy. His mouth moves form my lips, across my cheek, down my throat as we navigate across the carpet towards my bed. Halfway there, he stops me, spins me, points past me to the freestanding mirror in the corner.

"Look at us," he commands.

I stare at myself in the mirror. Josh, physically behind me, is not reflected here either. His hands are resting lightly on my shoulders and his mouth is close to my ear, his breath warm on my cheek. My toes dig into the fibers of the carpet to prevent me from literally falling over with desire.

His hands slide slowly along the muscles in my shoulders, fingers curling down to rest on my collarbone and I inhale sharply.

"You smell good," he whispers again, "Like soap. Flowers." His thumbs start stroking up the vertebrae in my neck and I drop my head forward to allow him easier access. His hands softly caress my skin as he presses his body flush against mine.

"Not blood?" I murmur.

"Maybe," he confesses and his hot breath tickles the back of my neck. "But the rest of you smells pretty damn good too." His fingers continue to stroke along my collarbone, flitting along, sending shivers down my spine. "I want to..." he trails off and I feel his lips pressing against the nape of my neck. I tip my head to the side and he drags his lips down.

"What?"

"I want..." His fingers start working at the collar of my shirt, pulling it away from my shoulder so he can rest his mouth on my skin. His right hand slides down over the collar of the shirt I stole from him months ago and then pause on the top button. "Do you mind?"

"No," I sigh. "Please."

Josh's hand flicks open the button, moves to the next one, and continues down until he's opened my shirt. He presses his fingers lightly against my stomach while his left hand pulls the shirt down off my shoulder. He starts kissing down the side of my neck again, his teeth gently grazing my skin.

I shiver suddenly and he pauses. "Donna?"

"It's okay."

"Are you scared?"

"No."

"I won't hurt you."

"I trust you."

"God, you're so beautiful, Donna," he breathes against my skin. "I want you."

"Have me then," I whisper, and he starts kissing my neck again as his hand tugs at the shoulder of my shirt; his right hand stops stroking my stomach to tend to the other side.

I lift my head and stare into the mirror, unable to see anything other than myself. My arms are trapped in the sleeves of the shirt, holding them against my sides.

I should be scared - afraid that I can't move, that I can't see Josh in the mirror - yet I can feel his mouth on the back of my neck, feel the softness of his hands on my stomach. I look down and watch them roam over my skin.

"I want to make love to you, Donna. I want to make you mine," he says in a gruff voice. "I want to take you in my arms, slide into your body, touch you everywhere. I want to make you cry out my name when you come."

"Do it," I beg, the words catching in my throat as his tongue starts tracing lines over my bare shoulders. He blows gently on the wet trails, chilling my skin, making me shiver in anticipation. He bends his head over my shoulder and scrapes his teeth over my collarbone.

His hair is grazing my cheek, the softness of the curls contrasting with the sharpness of his teeth and I know that he's probably going to end up scratching my skin enough to make it bleed.

Despite my earlier offer for him to use my blood to survive, I wonder if I should let him, wonder what would happen to me, if anything would happen to me but the thought slips from my mind as his hands move up my stomach and over my ribs to settle underneath my breasts. His body is hard against my back, firm in all the right places and yet still soft and pliant. He shifts his hips and I realize that the erection I felt while we were in the bathroom is still very much there.

Oddly enough, I want to laugh. How often have I fantasized about making love to him yet, right now, I feel like I'm back at school giggling at the images they showed us in a very 'special' gym class. Josh starts slowly rubbing his lower body against mine and the urge to laugh vanishes. This isn't funny. This is what I want. Need.

I stare at myself in the mirror, feeling his fingers move lightly over my breasts to the sleeves of my shirt. I feel, and watch, as it falls to the floor almost by magic. His hands leave my skin - along with his mouth - and I feel suddenly, completely, alone. I can't see him in the mirror, can't feel him on my skin. But I know if I turn around he'll be there so I stay still, my body tingling in anticipation, waiting for his next move.

Very gently, his hands once again encircle my waist and, with a feeling of relief, I lean back against him. He kisses my neck with an open mouth, sucking on my skin and I feel his teeth scrape again.

"I want..." he breathes against my damp skin. His teeth nip softly at my neck and I shiver.

"Are you hungry?" I whisper. "Do you want me?"

"God," he hisses. "Yesssss. Yes." His hands curl tightly around my hips, fingers sliding into the waistband of my cotton shorts and I sag backwards against him, and let him take me. Completely, totally, in every way fully possible, I become his.

~~

The sun shining through the open blinds wakes me at in the morning. I have no idea what time it is and, really, I don't care. Various parts of Josh's body are draped over various parts of mine. I yawn widely and stretch, then extricate myself from under his arms and legs, and head into the bathroom. Despite having only a few hours sleep, I feel amazing. Invigorated even.

While I roll my head around to loosen the muscles in my neck, I brush my teeth, then spit and rinse. I'm planning to wake Josh up with a few well placed kisses, and then have sex with him all day. It's Sunday and we don't really need to go into the office - I can convince him to call in sick.

I splash some cold water on my face, dry it off, and then slide back into bed next to Josh. He's still sound asleep, mouth slightly open, snoring away like a jackhammer. His hair is sticking up in all possible directions and I run the tips of my fingers through it. Sleeping Josh never fails to make my heart beat just a little quicker. Actually, it beats a little faster with Tuxedo Josh, Political Operative Josh, Drunk and Helpless Josh, and, even though it annoys me when he's that way, Whiny Josh. Now it seems - at least when I'm asleep and dreaming - Vampire Josh gets me pretty aroused as well.

Naked Josh is probably the best though and right now he's sprawled sideways across my bed - he has no idea what personal space means - completely and totally naked with just a sheet covering him. I drag it down just enough so I can cuddle up against his chest, pressing my ear against his heart.

It beats slow and steady; his chest rises and falls in rhythm with his snoring. And he's warm and soft, and I feel totally, completely safe in his arms, but I still have to make sure that everything is as it should be.

One of my hands slide down over his stomach, under the sheet, wrap my fingers around the base of his cock, and squeeze it gently. It starts to harden almost immediately, and I grin as his hips shift toward me. Even fast asleep, he obviously can't control his libido.

I reach my free hand up to his face to rub my fingers across his forehead. No change. I squeeze his cock a little harder, and use my thumb to stroke up and down the underside of the shaft. His face remains the same but that doesn't mean anything really. Maybe he can't change when he's sleeping? Maybe he isn't really a vampire.

I release his cock and move up to kneel next to his head. I use my fingers to stretch his eyelids open, releasing a whoosh of air that I didn't know I was holding, when I see that his eyes are the same soft chocolaty brown color with the little specks of gold in them. Not red.

So I decide to venture further down and run my fingers across his open mouth, then press my thumb against a tooth.

"AHHHH!" he roars suddenly, and I yank my hand away just as he clamps his teeth together. "What the hell?"

"Sorry, just checking."

He blinks at me, confused, and rubs a hand over his eyes. "Why were your fingers in my mouth, Donna?"

"I said I was checking," I repeat, sitting up, and pulling the comforter over my naked legs.

"Checking what?" he asks through a gaping yawn. "You're not a dentist."

"Just to make sure everything is in order," I say defensively, giving him my best glare. I am not going to tell him why I was checking out his teeth because I know he'll either mock me or laugh at me - probably both.

"Like?" He reaches his arms across the bed and pulls me against his chest. I nestle my head under his chin and scratch a fingernail lightly over one of his nipples. "That isn't going to distract me, you know. There's got to be some sort of rational explanation for the reason your fingers were poking me in my mouth."

"As opposed to having other parts of me in your mouth?" I ask innocently and he grins.

"Come on, Donna. The fact you're not telling me means the reason has to be pretty damn funny."

"I had a weird dream," I admit reluctantly. "We weren't together but then we were and there was something, uh okay don't worry about that. But some of the time I was me, and some of the time I was you, and that was even-"

His annoyingly smug grin appears then as he interrupts me. "You were me! Did you like that? What happened?" he presses, and when I shake my head he frowns and whines, "Come ooooon, tell me!"

I shake my head again. "No, it's not important; it was just a silly dream." I walk my fingers down his chest and under the sheet. "But I'll tell you this, when you were you... you were good."

Josh's grin widens. "Good? In what way was I..." I grasp his cock again and he draws a sharp breath "...gooooood?"

I show him.

A/N 2: Apologies for the big red reset button. :D